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I was nine when I first started trying to lose weight, a crash diet designed for heart patients. I was only supposed to follow for a week, and it involved eating a lot of terrible cabbage soup. For two decades after, I did everything in my power to be thin, to feel in control my body. Twice I lost more than 100 pounds, obsessing over food every second of every day and completely unable to accomplish anything else. Both times, when I couldn’t obsess over food for any longer, I gained the weight back.

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